OKEYI'm borde as hell but okey it's like that normaly everyday ^^ 

You can say that I love you. 
You can call out the guards. 
You can fall back with the night or open your heart. 
I know you will run in to that arms and never le go. 
Becuase you don't want to be alone. 

"Kill me or love me I will never let go anyway!" I opened up my eyes and saw a girl scream at me and holded a knife in her hand which was a little bit twisted, kind of creppy if I can say that. Her eyes was wide open and all red after she have cried for a while and her cheeks was all black by here make up and tears, but I didn't understand the smile on hers lips. 

Join me in hell, did I hear a voice inside my head wisper, it really feeld like something or someone was behind me, I can't really explain the feeling but I was so damn sure it was someone or something there so I really was that stupid to turn around and let go of the girl with my eyes. Then just some small secounds later so did I feel the burning pain by the knife in my bak then everything turned into black. 
I woke up with a burning feeling in my bak and could feeling inside of me in same times I fighted after air and tryed to calm down myself but when I heard my phone get a message so did I thought that I got a heartattack. Some minutes later when I got in to my minde that it was only the phone so did I take it up and looked it up and saw a text message from my exboyfrinde who was a kind of a shit head. 


xxx-xxxxxxU know who! 
Once upon time we had a lot to fight for , we had a dream and a plan and it was sparks in the air when we spread a lot of envy and we didn't have to care about anything ,but that was once upon a time. But remember when I swore that my love is never ending and you and I will never die Remember when I swore about that we had it all together. But now I'll sail away becuse it's time for me to leave now when it's the could days. and well, yeah The rainy days are yours to keep. I will now fade away becuase the night is calling my name, and you will stay when I'll sail 
away 


Once upon a time we used to burn candles in our place that we call a home, but now I see that all that was only a dream that we lived, I'm sure about one thing, it was better than divine, becuse every day was like a gift with you. 
But that was once upon a time. There was no reason to lie, no need to pretend, I was grateful to die just to live ours once upon a time. 
now I'm fearless to fly and I'm even not afrid to reach for the end 

I dindn't really want to speak with him or hear anything about him. he was kind of a little bit more then gone in my life I more exactly didn't really care anything about him. if he died I would laugh well alright i'm not the only one who would do that. He is sick and no one dosen't really care about him becuase, he dosen't really show other pepols some respect or any humenlity in the soul, he is only could and weak minded, I even just want to puck when I thinkn about it. 
I took a secounde to just calm down before I got dressed and took up the computer to word down my dream then put it up on my blogg. 
After that so did I stick out my head through the window and catched some some freash air, well ok not so freash when I even took a cigaret. 
"good morning world" did I think quiet for myself before I looked at the clock and wondred when Robin will be home and when he's younger sisster will get home, whos I had never meet. and Robin did I meet in yesterday for the first time, which would nerver happen if we didn't speak on emocore for some short days, becouse if we didn't so would I not be even close to be here on my free will, all alone in his and yeah his sissters apartment. 
Feels kind of weird but in a good way , specily about when he is so gently and really trust me that much and the final point is, we have only known each other in 16 hours now and 39 minuts. no I'm not schoked not at all he-he. 
anyway I will soon sign in skype then chat with André just to get the time to go. 



Old Pic! 








This is not what I wanted. This is not the feeling I want. This is not what I want to think about. This is not the morning I should wake up to. 
This is not what I took, Even if it screamed inside of me. 
"Take it all!" 
it's hard to understand myself, so it has to be hard as hell for you! 
This is not the way I wanted, not the way I really want to chose, so I keep it quiet in my soul. 

I can't say the devil made me to do it. 
I chose to be the one I am, the way I am today. And I can't see anyway around it. and in the end I will be alone here all whitout YOU! 
Now I'm drowning in the bottom of the bottle and running away from the one I couldn't stop myself to be. even if I know that one day I have to face the one I'm. 
and she is a demon the one I have created from mysel and that is the tragic truth. 
so how will I stop the demon who lives inside of me. 
I can't do it for my own. But I will not give up this fight.

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Hej allihopa   sorry för att ag inte har skrivit jag har som haft FUUUUUUUULLT upp inte hunnit göra så mkt. jag har som jobbat, jobbat och jobbat och rest en massa men ja här kommer jag igång igen iaf :) men en massa bilder hoppas ni gilla...

Hej! Just nu sitter jag vid datan och spelar Borderlands...vilket går Jätte bra xD typ eller iaf lite. Igår så var jag på celo med Kim vi hade det Awsomr men fan va trötta vi var efteråt xD Haha Jag tror vi deckade direkt vi kom hem ^^" Nåj...

Hej!Hej! Det var ett tag sen ^^" Men ja jagchar som inte haft nå bra internet på ett tag hehe ^^" så fick vänta ett bra tag IGEN Men ja jag ska snart få en lägenhet. Typ nästa vecka så nu är det mkt flytt, sen så ska jag gått ner 21 kg på sist...

Once upon a time we had a lot to fight for, We had a dream and we had a plan, it was sparks in the air when we spread a lot of envy and we didn't have to care about anything ,but that was once upon a time. But remember when I swore that my love is ne...

Känner mig som att jag har hamnat i den harmoniska Wonderland . Jaja, visst, ok, dålig förklaring...så bättre att börja om,   Men jag har nu äntligen flyttat tillbaka till Luleå från Stockholms stresset och har varit nu här sen i måndags så mina da...